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The waiting game

{Anomali Coffee}

There are times when I think to myself "Shoot! I wish I said that bolder," or "I should've been braver that time". Sometimes I say that in regrettable tone, and sometimes in a matter-of-factly way. There were times when I restraint myself from doing what I want to do for various reasons. Some because I feel I would be selfish in doing so even if that's not the case. It's just the way I feel about it. Some because I just played it safe. 

I was almost board on a plane that will take me to L.A and never look back when I was 21. About to leave my education that was just an inch from getting my diploma for a job offer that I got. Glad that I didn't, though. I was almost jump on that train, but I didn't. Even though I've stopped asking myself 'what if' 2 years ago, there were times when I wondered what would happen if I did. And of course that was that one time when I was just a breath away from getting on that ship, but I didn't because I felt guilty for making some people hurt even though it was their own issue. 

I've thought about the 'almost happen' stories in my life. Thinking if I were truly living my life. If I took a good care of myself enough, until finally to that ultimate question - am I too coward? I know that I don't want my life like a coffee table. It's safe. But when everyone leaves because the cups have been emptied and the conversations have been consumed, it's still there waiting for the next persons to come. So, I am taking that leap. I am boarding on that plane. 

15 comments:

  1. Yes, we do take chances but by waiting anticipating exploring ..... we also grow...
    Another good writing!

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  2. go for it. 'what if's are the worst. and you only regret the things you didn't do... but I'm sure you knew that already. xo

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  3. I'm glad to hear that your going to take the chance, it's nice to do so every once in awhile :). If you weren't able to before you can now!

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  4. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
    Should I be less coward? More brave? Ah...I find myself in the same situation so often. I'm very outspoken today, more than I used to be. I don't cringe or make myself less than I am anymore. So, maybe, Niken, it comes with age. The taking of risks, the less hesitation, the taking the leap!
    So, you boarded that plane. Where are you going, friend? Wyoming?? :)

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  5. I know how you feel! I hope it will turn out right for you! :]

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  6. 'What if...?' is the most frequent question in my life. I regret so many things that I barely go on... I can't deal with the present moment

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  7. Oh the 'what if' question, is a question which can occupy my mind for hours, days, weeks, even months. But I guess there'll always be a 'what if' question hanging in the thin air, no matter what you decide to do in life, you've taken a choice, and you could always have done it differently. I think that living in and appreciating the moment is some of the hardest things to do, but also one of the best thing to do. I hope you're happy with your future decisions and aware, that no matter what, the 'what if'question will always be there :)

    Hopeless✈Wanderer

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  8. I think everyone has those what if moments. I often wonder what if I hadn't come to Australia all those years ago, where would I be now? and what would I be doing now?

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  9. Go for it! Things will be fine. :) I totally understand your feelings. I personally worry to much and right now I am just trying to listen to my heart and do what I feel like is best for me! <3

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  10. You take lovely pictures, I love this type of "vintage" photographs. Need to start practising more of those myself :) Great blog, will definitely visit here more often!
    blog ♥

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  11. An important and necessary step...
    i understand you so well*

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  12. good luck with your next move ;) I'm sure you'll do fine....
    awseome photos ;)

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