Latest Stories

Let Go Off Things

Sometimes, you might cannot believe what happen, but yet it’s true. My external HD got infected by viruses, that my anti-virus couldn’t delete them. When I deleted one, it copied itself for 2. And when I didn’t delete them, they copied themselves even more. I was left with no other choice……

Last year, I went to this cyber café just behind my college building. I had to email some files and reports by that time immediately. Unlucky for me, as I thought I had done what I needed to in the morning, I didn’t bring my laptop with me to college. I always brought my laptop with me. But that morning, I thought to myself maybe it’s okay if I didn’t bring it for one day. It was Saturday, and I had done my job. So it’s time for loosen up a little bit. But then again, when I was on the way back to college from attending Eagle Awards Documentary Screening in UII with Panji and Edo between our next class, which is about 20 km or more away from my college, my phone cell rang and I didn’t pick it up. When I got in my college I made a call back and I had to send email immediately. I couldn’t find anyone I know to bring laptop, and the files were in my external HD. So I went in that cyber café, and BANG!!!!!

There it was. I faced all audio-visual person most fear. Losing their files, corrupted HD, infected data, or broken computer. I thought I was petrified. The virus like had a mastermind in a locked folder that it used as it’s lair and my anti-virus couldn’t break in to destroy it. I had no choice. I had to format it. To format means to lose everything. The hard thing was to let go. I know myself. I’m not kind of person who can easily ditch unused stuffs. I always have the feeling that I might need them again someday, so the thought used to stop me from put away unused stuffs.

Bonus point, my external HD definitely NOT an unused stuffs, as it had my 3,5 years of life in almost  used space 500 GB capacity. I put all my important files there. How could I throw away my 3,5 years of life? And all was gone by now.

What ironic is, the morning before my external HD got infected, I was staring at my laptop and thinking hard. I just rummaged all the folders saved in the internal HD, and I knew it’s running out of space. I considered it for a quite long time. As I looked at ‘AVIKOM STUFF’ folder. I knew I had to make more space. And maybe it’s time to let go off this folder. It’s hard for me and I did it. I deleted it. I already had that folder back-up in my external HD by that time. But it was still hard for me to let go. Then I found out, apparently I had to make more space than just that one folder in one device, I had to make a clean space in my entire external HD too.

Then, I had lost more than 300 GB. 3 and a half years of what I’d done. My narratives, stupid things I wrote, my favorite music, videos that I like, my working files, my Avikom and 3dB files, and all. And the most important thing for me was gone too. The ‘PHOTO BOX’ folder. My photographs database since I was in high school. Vanished in a blink of an eye.

But what shocks me the most is, I didn't feel a hard loosing feeling in my heart. After I formatted my external HD and lost those, I didn't feel something bad in my stomach that makes me want to throw up. That surprised me. I thought I would be very sad or disappointed or pissed off, or whatever. But I didn’t. Maybe that’s the thing about letting go. After I got the 500 GB memory again in my external HD, I got the clean space and re-arranged it in a clean slate. It’s like the first time I bought the HD. Maybe that’s just the thing about letting go off – well, anything. Or anyone. Make more space, make new memories and start fresh.

p.s : photo credit unknown. if you know, please let me know. thanks


  1. too bad...I was thinking for quite sometime if I should buy an external or not.the fact that virus can just delete everything scares me...

  2. I'm totally obsessive about backing up my important files for this very reason... but when I really think about it, if I lost everything, I'd be bummed but my world probably wouldn't end.


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