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When Time Isn't Kind Or Unkind

There is nothing much that I can remember of what was said in classes during my university days - if it's nothing at all. But I do remember all the details of those first few weeks morning after I finally broke free from homework and modules and practices and papers. Graduation was 5 and a half years back, but the distance feels like forever ago. I am not the same person as I was 5 years before, but also at the same time, I am still the same. If I could have the choice to pick some memories to keep inside a glass jar, I would choose those time when the time wasn't kind or unkind and I would choose those time when the time was kind and wasn't unkind. 

Those first few years of uncertainty when you're 22. The time when I was so sure of what I wanted in life. The time that I moved back to Bali and despite all the odds, decided to hang my backpack and got my own place for the very first time. I remember the first time that I found a place, my friend Adit flew to Bali to help me move. He drove me around as I picked my furniture, and he hammered every nail in that place. On my first night sleeping in my new home, we had a housewarming party on my front porch where my friends from in and outside of town came over. 

We sat on the foldable fishing chairs and put the sunnies on our face even though it's dark, just because we're silly, sipping cold beers, eating rujak and nasi lawar as it's nobody's business. We raised our glass for our reunion that night, and we're cheering for a new beginning. In the morning, we would chase the light. The crimson shades in the morning and the three shades of sunset. Be it on the top of an abandoned building in Uluwatu, or the silence of my neighborhood. 

I want to remember all this time. Because the early twenties was hard (not that it's getting less hard as we grow older) and also great at the same time. From broken hearts to broken savings. The time when I questioned myself over and over again. The time when I made the most of anything that comes my way in the best way I could. And that's okay. Because you will look back 5 years and a half from then, thinking how far you've come and how that time and the tiny kitchen in the place we stopped by on one of our road trips will always have a special place in my heart. 

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