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Starting over

I move pretty frequent, especially after graduating college, for work. There are countless number of hotel room, temporary housing, tent, and rental room I'd stayed in, in the past 3 years. I still remember that October day in 2013 when I was sitting on the beach with my friends and decided that I will settled in Bali. I got a rental place by pure luck from a long waiting list, as a friend of a friend moved out to other city, so I could fill in. 

Since then, I started to build a home there. My friend from college visited me that year for the whole 2 months and helped me with the move. He drove me around as I bought the necessities. He hammered every nail in my place, painted what needs to get painted, fixed the bathroom door, built the shelves, put it up on the wall and brought the bed to the 2nd floor where my flat is. On the first 3 days that I moved in, I didn't even have a mattress, so we put on layers of bed cover on the floor to sleep and had fast food for dinner.

I remember the feeling the first time I got my self settled in. I didn't have anyone that I could call friends yet in that city. No one that I could call when I needed help. It was a scary thought at first, even though I was still in the same country to everyone that I know in my life. But still, the truth is, starting over is a scary thing. 

I always thought that Bali would be the place. The place where I would settled up, have my own space where I keep all my stuff in one place. The place where I would always go home every time. The place where my blue french press would be kept in that tiny kitchen of mine. But deep down, I never let my self getting too comfortable there, because I know that there are possibilities where I would need to move again.

Not long ago, I made a decision that will cause several changes in my life. I've been thinking about it, and I know that it's something that needs to be done. I acted on my plan even though I didn't put my hopes high. I was betting on my chance because I got nothing to lose. And to be honest, I wasn't really think that it would work out. But this week, I just got a confirmation. And suddenly I felt a little bit scared. Of course I felt exited and eager to the possibilities and what may. But I also felt scared because it means that I have to start over again.

I always have a special connection with Bali, way before I moved there. It's the place where I was born, where I came from. It's the place where I spent some fragments of my childhood, and years after that, my adolescent time as well. But now is the time for me to turn up the Bali chapter in my book. I'll move again soon. I am about to start over again somewhere. It is scary but also exciting. I am curious of what lay ahead in the near future.

14 comments:

  1. And I wish you great luck in the move ahead! Sounds exciting and wonderful all at once! Best wishes pal! Nicole xo

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  2. what what what? now I want to know where you are going and what you are doing next ;) new beginnings are scary, but they are also exhilarating and such a great opportunity to learn. I'm excited with and for you!!!

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  3. You are so right, starting over is such a scary thing! But I know you can do it! Congratulations! I am sure everything will work out great! <3

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  4. I wish you all the best! Will you keep us updated? :]

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  5. I'm very curious, too! I hope you will share your future adventures with us soon. :)

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  6. Moving from a place that means so much to you is hard. But hard things are often so good for us! I am excited for you to start this new adventure (and curious to know what it is!).

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  7. oh here's to new beginnings! i remember moving so often even starting from childhood. i moved about 10 times - i guess that doesn't seem a lot but when I look back in my life I always felt like I was always packing my things up (and throwing bits and pieces of my life with every move) every few years. i feel like my husband and i have finally settled but the place we chose to settle seems like a weird place for me still.. like really? we are calling these suburbs home?? but i guess within the walls of our home i feel safe and secure and happy. best wishes on your next move, niken!

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  8. Wishing you great luck in your future! It's definitely hard leaving behind a place you love so much. But here's to new experiences and adventures!

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  9. I really hope that you have many great adventures in your new city and that you settle well. It's definitely a big decision but this world is a giant beautiful place with so many new places to discover. Might I add that it was so nice of your friend to be so helpful while you were moving to Bali. I hope you have a lovely week Niken :).

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  10. You are amazingly brave! I wish you bunch of new adventures with your new beginning!

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  11. Congrats! Change can be scary but it almost always brings good things!

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  12. I have places like that too but nothing that really feels like home. Best of luck to you.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

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