Even before I boarded on that plane I already knew that when I come back things won't be the same. A few weeks later when I stepped back and unlocked the door, the table still stood on the same position as it was a year ago and the kitchen was still the same as I remember. The apparent distinction was the hot and dry air that stung me flesh and bones. Unlike that weeks around one August when the breeze was cool enough to make us wrap ourselves in a blanket. The changes that filled the air though, certainly not about the weather. Things just didn't feel the same. It's not like my feelings for the town has gone or corroded. It's the events that happened, the people that inspired, the people that broke the wings, and finally - those too much thinking nights like a slap on the face. An epiphany, of sort. One that wakes you up. It gets you up.
A certain things happen that makes you evaluate your life - the things and the people in it. And as much as I was in denial, there was a point when I realise that some people and things in your life are not worth as much thought as you thought they might ever had before. That some friends are meant to be kept for a lifetime and some people are just meant to be colleague - not friends. Evaluate the people in your life. Promote, demote or terminate. That living your life is different from just living. That every once in a while, you need to take that leap that makes you cringe. That a certain decision might end up good, not so good, or bad. But either way, they do make good stories (and lessons).
It takes courage to change your mind, it takes courage to speak of it - and even more courage to act on it. Do it. Life is too short to live your life with the things that make you unhappy. Just because the things that used to make you happy are not making you happy anymore doesn't mean that they were never right. When you've been in the same room for a long term, you'll notice more annoying thing about it each day. Take distance when you need to before things getting ugly and you're getting miserable. Find things that energise and people that inspire. And of course, of course, it's okay to think of yourself first every once in a while. There is a difference between selfish and taking care of yourself. Don't feel guilty for doing it some time.