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On questioning your life all over again

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I often wonder how people around me seem so sure about their life. How they look worry-free and certain and settled. While I on the other hand, am worrying about a lot of things once and too many times. There are times when I really really feel like I need some major changes in some aspect of my life. How I should rearrange and I find my self sit on that couch again, second guessing and questioning the decisions I've made all over again. 

Sometime last month, my friend invited me to a Creative Think Tank meeting that's held by a co-working space where we sometimes work from. The idea is someone can come up with their problem - script writing, product building, marketing, branding, anything and then we'll discuss ideas to help them solve their problems in a group discussion. 

The session I attended was presented a husband and wife team who needed help to develop their brand. This couple said they struggled hard to earn living. They both even have several jobs that keep them attached to their computers all day and they feel like they barely have a life anymore. Before I met them, I've heard my friend who is friends with the couple talk about them sometimes. And from what I've heard I could never imagine that they're struggling hard to earn living. That they second-guessing their decisions again, that they questioning their decisions again. 

I tell my self many times that people often aren't exactly what they look like. And I know that all the things I read on social media accounts are the selected informations shared by the account holders. Many times they make me wonder if I were really living my life comparing to how others living their lives - how I often second guessing my decisions, questioning my life again or how I worry about many things : bills, next month income, meet work deadline, to move or not to move, do this now or never, etc etc etc. But I guess everyone is the same? 

Have you second-guessing your decisions or questioning your life again? 
Does it stop as you're getting older?


  1. Oh I feel you! What if / If only I had / and so on. But I guess, there is no point in it. Saying it afterwards is always easy, and you can only try to learn from it for future decisions. I guess it will not stop when we are older. What do you think?

    About the social media, while I feel bloggers are more open, I personally do not feel like using Facebook etc. It's too much "oh, look at my perfect life' "me me me!" for me. And oh dear, if you forget to like something people unfriend you I heard. Geesh, I've got better things to do!

  2. I've always felt like the ones who complain the most on social media have much better lives than they are willing to admit, the ones who appear to have perfect lives are a hiding a lot, and the rest of us are just too busy trying to figure out life to take the time to post about it on social media.

  3. there have been two times in my life that i had to make a hard decision and before i made it, i second guessed whether i should are not. the first one, i debated whether i should change my major after three years into college. i did, and now i landed a dream job and i love my boss and coworkers and what i get to do monday through friday. the second time, i had to decide if moving to a house was a good idea. it was more expensive, we had a lot of crap, looking for houses was stressful, etc. we moved and it was the best decision ever because i feel so at home and i get to have a dog now! both times i second guessed myself, incredible things have come from those decisions :)

  4. Hi Niken! I used to second-guess my decisions quite frequently but over the past few years I have learned to cede the power of my worries over to fate. Worrying can be a constant cycle, for when one worry is abated, another one takes its place. The key is breaking the cycle :)

  5. This is how I feel so often. I don't think it ever stops! Some people just look like they have it all together, but it's just how we portray ourselves online. Honestly, no one knows what they're doing.

  6. I think most everyone struggles. it's human nature. but we are programmed to not show it too much, to always pretend to be strong. it takes a while to learn that lesson. how does the saying go, don't judge a book by its cover.

  7. Its easy to say 'what if'. One cannot really do things differently after they have done what they have done... get me ? That is why i try not to second-guess my decisions.

    visit me on MUNTU

  8. I definitely worry way too much and second-guess myself all the time. I do not regret anything but I do feel like I need to make some changes!
    Sending you lots of hugs!

  9. I'm glad you asked. Lately, I ponder my existence. Who I am, where I came from, who I've become, where I want to be. Questions questions! It's all so tangled sometimes, Niken!
    I think contemplating changes is good. It means you care about yourself. We care enough to want a better way, to find a sort of peace within ourselves, in our lives, and the journey getting there can be an interesting one. Even if it takes forever.
    It's so easy for people to change their persona online. But, really, everyone struggles, everyone has insecurities and we all question who we are and where we are going and if we are on the right track, and are we "enough".
    Yes, we are all in the same boat, so to speak, whether we reveal it or not.
    I am a paddler in your boat, Niken! ;)

  10. i worry too on many many levels but my problem comes after the worry. i get even more down because sometimes i can't get myself to follow through on a solution that will take care of my worry. but what's amazing is that the worrying is only there for a moment. and i realize things are actually really ok the way it is. i also realized that i don't always have to have a solution and follow through and feel guilty if i don't. in the past i was always around people who needed a solution for everything. i would sit and "complain" about life but it wasn't a constant complain.. it was a fleeting comment and they would make me feel so worthless for spending time complaining and now doing something about it. and so i was always coming up with solutions and trying to follow through even though it made me feel uncomfortable. i just kept telling myself.. i need to do this because i'm worrying and it just made me end up in a worse place. i think it's ok to worry from time to time as long as you come out on the other end to realize that what you have where you are isn't all that bad. and following through on solutions is ok as long as you are comfortable with it. life is all about coming up with the right balance with everything i guess.. that's always hard..

  11. Hi Niken! I'm sorry you're feeling uncertain about so many things, it's a horrible place to be, but please know that you're not alone!

    Under the surface, EVERYONE is struggling with one problem or another, big and small, some people show it outwardly whereas some chose to keep it to themselves.

    I heard a great quote the other day - 'A perfect instagram is perfectly curated, not a perfect life'. Sometimes social media can harm more than it helps, what you see is someones edited version of their life (my social media included) and it can be hard to remember that and not feel bad about yours.

    Another great quote is - 'Comparison is the thief of joy'. Something I work hard to remember! Don't compare your life to the lives you see on social media, there is no comparison, everyones definition of living, loving and socialising is different.

    I think I'm just ranting now, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and you are living and not to worry about what anyone else appears to be doing! xxx

  12. Probably all day and all night, on and on. And I regret many of those decisions I made but guess what - I would do exactly the same if I had a second chance.

  13. It seems like this is all I do, it's hard not to do so. I think because it's so important to us to feel on track and happy with the way our lives are.

  14. no, it doesn't stop when getting older
    i am 50 now (hurray!) and still worry a lot
    there are things i regret, but those brought me other fine things
    which i wouldn't have when not taken that 'wrong' decision
    so in a way it's ok (do you understand what i mean?)
    i am happy with my life and sometimes i am not
    it's just that, breath in and out and go on with a smile ;^))
    take care!
    that view is beautiful!!!

  15. Second-guessing my decisions and worrying about everything and anything - I'm so good at those things, too. I think the second-guessing has gotten better ever since I deleted Facebook. Seriously the best decision of my life. I stopped comparing myself to others and the difference in how I feel now is amazing. But I also look back at my life and instead of thinking that I never had a goal and I was zig-zagging through everything I actually learned to enjoy all the positive thing that came from it. I got to know so many wonderful people and amazing places and I wouldn't change a thing today. The worrying is another story...I do that way too much and way too intensely. But there must always be room to improve, right? :) I don't think there is a single person in this world who doesn't have those thoughts second-guessing themselves or worrying, they just don't show it. Don't get fooled by how they seem to feel, there's always much, much more underneath the wall they built so nobody could see what's really going on.

  16. I do this all the time. I hate it. So I'm trying to stop. I just want to live and love and not be so hard on myself. I think we're all trying, but I think we all have our moments of second-guessing.

  17. i quitted my awful mind draining job in December but i was there for 8 years,tied to fear of not having money and could not provide for myself...i stopped because my mind went literally blank and i was burned out and now i am trying to figure out the best way to move forward with my life.
    If you look closely enough no one is that ' normal' or 'happy'
    Everybody has issues and sometimes it is so much easy or socially accepted that you do not show your fears,doubts or flaws.
    Now i think : i don't want perfect,i want honest.
    being honest with myself and letting go of other people expectations is what i thrive for right now ;)

  18. What a great view, I can not tear my eyes away!


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