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Telling stories | Invisible Maladies

I used to think about how people would like their stories to be told. Would it be narrated or not? Would they like some back sound? Would they see themselves as a hero or a commoner? On one occasion, a rare circumstance occurred when I ended up talking to a complete stranger about nothing and some other thing. Half sober, we started to talk about more personal things as the music getting louder. I suspected that he didn't even catch 65% of what I said as I couldn't completely hear what he said. Then it got me thinking - "How do we tell our stories?"

I thought about my self that night for the first time. If there was one thing that I was really bad at, it's gonna be taking care of my own self. My best friend whom I hadn't met in years once told me that I, unfortunately, unconsciously neglected myself for others. It's a curse that I kept trying to break. But that night, I thought about my self. How did I tell my stories?

I compartmentalised. I told my best friend some secrets that I would never ever tell others. But only some. I told some of my other friends, from a different circle, some other things that even my best friend didn't know. And then on that night, I told a that tall fair skin total stranger that one thing. One thing that I never told anyone. Ever. 

Maybe that's how I tell my stories. It's like a scattered pieces of glass. In which I threw in all over the place, without anyone else knowing the red line of every story. And maybe one day, if there's ever anyone interested enough about a life of a common girl like me, maybe he or she would go over every trace that I left. Collecting piece by piece, and then telling the whole stories from his/her eyes. 

After I thought about my self that night, I caught a glimpse of my mother on the corner of my mind. How she would wear her white dress and her pale lipstick at 5, waiting for my father to come back from work. Although most of the time, he never did. My mother, she never told anyone anything. She kept a good control of herself, that no word of pain that she felt ever slipped from her lips. If there was one way to know anything about my mother, it would be me. I was my mother only legacy. And a living memory keeper that cared enough to take a good observation how she lived her life, though it wasn't very long. 

The thought of her sadden me. I quickly crossed that tears that almost come from the command control in my brain. I sipped another taste of wine. I kept talking, he kept talking. None of us were listening to each other. I just wanted to let the clutches in my breast to erupt. Then maybe I could learn to trust again. And in the company of the half-sober-tall-fair-skin total stranger, I found comfort to blurt out the pain that I never ever even let my best friend to peek.

*an excerpt of short story that I'm writing

40 comments:

  1. Sounds familiar. However, I would like to keep these pieces far away from each other. I hope I won't ever bump into somebody who will one day pick all the pieces together. I'm sucha wierd kind of person :)...

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    1. i think it's totally normal for not wanting to bump into somebody who'd love to gather your pieces of stories together. not weird at all ;)

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  2. This is very interesting and thought provoking. I'm sure this short story will turn out great!

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  3. I also open myself easier to the people I don't know well, but because I am afraid of judging from those I love and I am closer to. But at the same time opening myself to the pople I am closer to is always more healing for me, but it asks for more strength. Interesting storry telling! xx

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    1. Interesting on the healing part.I guess we all feel the same - afraid to get judged from those we love and close to. thank you, Alma :) sooo glad to hear from you!!!

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  4. Oh my, this is really thought provoking. You tell your stories very well, they're nicely wrapped but tell enough to make me want to know more.

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    1. Thank you, Louise :)
      hopefully i'll finish this one, hehe

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  5. Niken, I really really love the way you write. Your writing is so thought-provoking. I have to say that I don't share myself a whole lot. I love to listen to others but I like to keep quiet about myself. I don't know why.

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    1. thank you so much sweet Katrin. that says you're a good listener ;)

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  6. I really enjoyed that. Is your short story fiction or autobiographical? I enjoy hearing the stories of people's lives.

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    1. it's pure fiction - but there are parts that i take from different people. i love to do people watching, and when i write a story, i use that to form the characters.

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  7. Do not cry. Surely even someone you trust. I like, so I put your blog, nobody knows me and then maybe I will not let anyone up.

    Beautiful blog!
    Regards, Carou

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    1. i'd love to know you :)
      thank you so much, Carou

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    2. Maybe someday we will! Dreams do come true :)
      Kisses :*

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  8. Wow, you just keep getting better and better at writing! I love the concept of spreading memories around like pieces of glass. If the part about your mom rings true, then I hope you find comfort in writing the feelings out. Love this!

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    1. *blushing,,
      thank you so much, Janna :)
      gladly this is pure fiction. so, none of it come from the real story from the people i know in real life (and that mother character in the story is definitely not my mother).

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  9. This is a beautiful story. And it rings true because sometimes it is easier to be your authentic self with a complete stranger than with those we know well. Beautifully written!

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    1. thank you so much, Sally!
      yes, it is. i think we all in general feel the same. we don't have to worry to get judged by strangers.

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  10. beautifully written niken. it's not quite related but i took a workshop on telling stories. it was mostly for work.. and learning how to move people to join in the "cause" and campaign through personal stories. it was a method used in the barack obama presidential campaign created by prominent activist marshall ganz. it was called story of self, story of us, story of now. it made me think about it when you wrote "how would you like your story to be told..." i wonder what i would want out of it... thanks for always sparking deep thoughts. xx

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    1. that writing workshop sounds interesting, Jane. i bet you guys created a bunch of powerful stories since they came from personal experience. thank you so much :) glad that you enjoyed this snippet.

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  11. What beautiful words, my friend! You have a real gift. I so want to read more.

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    1. Thank you, Trishie. i'm doing my best to try to finish it.

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  12. Sometimes we tell more about ourselves by not speaking at all.

    Thanks for getting me thinking about this, Niken.

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    1. that's interesting. thank you for reading

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  13. you write so lovely. Love your style, words can be very deep.

    http://livelifeamour.blogspot.com

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  14. I've found the best convo I've ever had are strangers at the most random but inviting moments. The good, the bad, and when I was in tears.

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    1. sometimes we do find comfort in strangers. like when we start to write on a blog for the first time. i think it's like we open up to total strangers. we don't even know who might read what we write.

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  15. amazing Niken :)
    please keep on writing and be generous to share it with us!

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    1. thank you :)
      hopefully i can finish it soon.

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  16. This was incredibly moving and well written! xo

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    1. thank you, Sarah. glad you enjoyed it.

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  17. You. Niken. You are a true gift, do you know that?
    Your writing offers up this beautiful story, so revealing, honest and moving.
    Your broken pieces are scattered and they are the mosaic of your life, my friend!
    I'm sad and enlightened at the same time. Bless your little hide. xx

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    1. you always have the sweetest thing to say. thank you so much.
      bless your good heart

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  18. You write to beautifully <3
    http://saltskinned.blogspot.com.au

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  19. A very thought-provoking post! I think we all do that. On the one hand we do not want to be judged, we do not want to hurt others with our stories. I also think we are playing certain roles - we are the best friend, the partner, the daughter, the co-worker and so on....and with every role there are only certain secrets acceptable to share. So we stick to our roles, unconsciously a lot of times. It takes a lot of strength, courage and self-love to open up to one single person completely and let that person see the whole story without any secrets. Because doing that is one of the scariest things ever - and also the only thing that sets us completely free while being around somebody. When you know there is nothing you need to hide anymore, when you even feel like you want to share all the things you've never shared before because you know the person will not judge you but love you more for that - then you've found The One.
    I'd love reading the whole short story, the excerpt already is amazing! :)

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    1. and rolled it up in a paragraph! glad that you've found The One ;)
      i'm trying to finish it, but it's kinda tricky to find time to sit still and write for awhile lately. when it's done, you'll be one of the firsts to read it

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