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Wild heart


it was just an ordinary day on a random second Monday morning of July. by 6.19 in the morning i decided to write it down on my notebook. the fact that i hadn't slept all night long didn't change the fact that now the sun really had arisen. just half hour ago i was still drowning in page 669 of the book that i was currently reading, out of 822 pages. i just couldn't put down the book. and that i realized i just couldn't get myself to bed. the reason that i didn't take the impulse to sleep.

instead, i kept on reading. the fact that i stopped for awhile around 1 am to make myself a cup of coffee wouldn't change a thing. i can take as much as coffee i want and i still can sleep right afterward. but then, 5.59 came and the sun's golden light finally caught my attention. i put the book on my bedside table and opened the window.

the chill's creeping through my socks into my feet. i heard the birds chirping, the trees laughing, the morning's breathing side by side. peacefully. i had to get out. the neighborhood was calm. few lights were already turned off. so i took a walk and took pictures. of the falling backlight upon the leaves.

the soil was wet of the condensation. so were the paddy fields along the neighborhood passage that i crossed. and in a morning like this is where i can rest my mind, i thought to myself. rest from thinking too hard. rest from thinking too much. rest from all the weight and worry. and forget about the bad things there in the world. in a morning like this.

the tranquility. then suddenly it sent the death pangs to my heart. and i realized that i found something. despite all the peace of mind, i found myself staring at that feeling inside my heart's black box. that feeling. of freedom. when we do things whole-heartedly. no ands, ifs or buts. that feeling. or was i just missing you? cause when i'm with you, i feel free.

20 comments:

  1. Awe, what a nice post! :)

    And coffee doesn't do a thing to me either, haha.

    Hope you have an awesome week, Niken! Can't believe it's already October 2nd over there! :p

    Hugs!

    Miki.

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  2. So peaceful to read. Sometimes it's good to have your mind open to deep thought

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  3. This is was peaceful and beautiful to read. I LOVE post like this - so relaxing. Thank's for sharing girly.

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  4. That was beautiful Niken. Thank you.

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  5. can run but cannot hide from our feelings..

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  6. Wow, this post is absolutely beautiful & inspiring!!

    <3 Melissa

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  7. Love this post, Niken! You are such a great writer!
    Coffee doesn't work for me either!
    Have a wonderful week! Hugs!

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  8. Hey there... just found your blog today and I'm really enjoying reading it!

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  9. This is beautifully written my dear! I could feel your words <3

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  10. "The chills creeping through my socks" great visual!

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  11. I know that feeling very well :) THAT feeling of freedom. This was a nice post to read, thank you.

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  12. This was such a beautiful post!

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  13. Beautifully written. I have felt that feeling before.

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  14. tolong disederhanakan ken,aaa yg lbih jelas indonesian plis hahaha

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  15. this is so beautiful, it made me smile. :)

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